Miss. Miller

As I walked through the back hallway into my office building today, a noise sparked a memory of my childhood.

It echoed and became louder as I continued down the hallway. Click, clack, click clack... the sound on my black stilettos heels on the bare concrete floor. Why does this noise spark a memory for me? Well, let me tell you about Miss. Miller.

Miss. Miller was my first grade teacher at Apple Creek Elementary in Moore, Oklahoma. I don't remember kindergarten real well and even second grade is a little fuzzy. But I can remember a lot from first grade. In fact, I bet I can walk into that grade school today and still find my first grade classroom. Miss Miller was everything a first grade teacher should be... kind, compassionate, funny, and eager to teach these little ones something great. And, above all, she was beautiful. At least to me and my little first grader friends she was. We idolized her. I remember her as being very tall, even for a grown up. Her hair was a reddish brown, trimmed to her shoulders and she totally rocked one of those 80s perms with the bangs. Her makeup was always perfect and she dressed like a dream. I always remember her in a dress or a skirt and she ALWAYS had on heels. Looking back, I have no idea how she could stand and teach in those all day long, but she did it! She was a tough cookie! :)

Whenever she would leave our classroom for a little bit, she would always say "I'll be right back, be good and keep working on your assignment." Well, we are first graders, so we really didn't listen. As soon as she was outta the room, we would immediately start talking, joking around and being kids. Then, all of a sudden, someone would say "SSSShhhhh... here she comes." The room would get absolutely quiet and all we could hear from the hallway was "click, clack, click, clack." Her shoes gave her away every time and upon her arrival her sweet first graders were always on their best behavior. :)

Ever since then I have remembered that sound. For me, it symbolized being a woman, growing up, being strong and confident. Many of my teachers after her wore heels and were beautiful, but I always remember Miss Miller. I looked to her and thought "someday I will be a grown up and I will wear heels and look beautiful too."

As I left the click, clack of the hallway and entered the carpeted area to take the elevator to the third floor to my office I smiled and thought of her. I wonder if she would be proud of me today? I wonder if she knows the impact she had on her students, even one as simple as wearing heels? As I stepped off the elevator, I tripped. Well, maybe I will never be as graceful as she was, but gosh do I love a good, strong, powerful pair of heels! :)

Me, Myself and I

ever just wanna get away by yourself for a day?

Well, I did it today! I decided last night I needed a little "getaway for the day" for me. I have been wanting to go north and explore Michigan for a long time and so I just decided to go for it!

I did about 2 minutes worth of google searching and chose Holland, Michigan as my destination, as well as some areas around it too. It about a little under 2 hours away.... not too bad! I can get to the beach in Michigan City, IN in about 45 minutes, but I wanted to see Michigan and the dunes that everyone talks about.

So, I took off with my GPS and a bag with a beach towel, magazine, MP3 player, and camera.

My first destination was on the northside of Holland (which, by the way, Holland itself is a cute town) called Tunnel Park because of the unique tunnel they constructed through a dune to access the beach. I took the stairs all the way up and all the way down the other side of the dune and walked a beach a little. Then took the stairs all the way back up and over before I took the path to the tunnel. It was breathtaking. The dunes were beautiful, the sky was the blue and the water was just like an ocean. It was good to see a lot of people on the beach with their dogs and children. Totally cool!

Then I headed south of Holland to a more secluded dune beach called Laketown Beach. It was nestled back into the dunes on a dead end road. These were big dunes folks and I definitely got my workout on this beach! The climb up the dune and down was exhausting but sooooo worth it. The views from the top were amazing. Walking onto the beach I see two people, a woman down the beach a ways sunbathing and a man throwing a huge stick in the water to his little dog. It was a sight to see! :) Provided me some entertainment. It was in this secluded spot I put down my blanket (which took several tries because it was super windy), took out my MP3 player and my magazine and soaked in every bit of Lake Michigan goodness. All I could hear was the waves, the wind, and Rascal Flatts. It was perfect. Sigh. I walked the beach at Laketown for a little while too. Getting my toes in the water and watching the waves crash. :)

Here are some pics from my adventure!

The tunnel through the sand dunes are Tunnel Park, Holland, Michigan.

Views at Tunnel Park.

The views from above the dunes at Laketown Beach
Climbing the stairs. Not sure how many I climbed today, but I definitely got my workout!

I just couldn't help myself!



Relaxing and listening to music.

Sand between the toes feels good!

Mega Super Duper Update!

it may be a crazy life, but its our life (just had to throw in a Kate Gosselin reference)

Life has been pretty crazy busy in the Birk household this month.

Here is the 411....

• Our house is rented!!!! YAY! Our renters moved in the beginning of August and we are so happy to have them (and their checkbook) in our little home. The neighbor boy (who was a pain when we lived there) has been causing a lot of problems for our renters including ripping our screen door off, demolishing our bushes, walking in the house uninvited, and trying to kick in our doors. It is extremely frustrating and makes us very angry, especially since his mother doesn't seem to care at all. We drafted an official "do not trespass" letter to send to his mother and we will be talking with city officials tomorrow. we hope it doesn't get out of hand, but we plan to take legal action if he continues to vandalize and trespass on the property.
  
• My 10 year high school reunion was AWESOME! I had such a great time seeing all my old classmates and catching up with friends. It was also just nice to take a quick trip back to Kansas.


• Not long after my reunion, I headed to Dallas for work and was there for 3 days. It was a great conference and I even got to see my former co -worker Lisa from Greenbush. It was so nice to come home after all the traveling and get back to normal again, although I still do not think I am caught up on sleep. :)


• The organization I work for is going through some very drastic changes after losing a huge pot of money that was used for tobacco prevention. Several people (about 5-6) lost their jobs. Thankfully, I am not one of them. But it has caused a major shift in power and authority and I am hopeful that it will be for the best. It will be a long and stressful transition though.


• Summer is almost over and I soooooo sad. This summer was really mild up here, which was nice most of the time, but I kinda missed having some smoldering hot days. I really hope old man winter decides to hold off on the lake effect snow for a while. I am NOT ready for that at all.


• This was a great weekend of fun for Jared, Hicks and I. Saturday we decided to have a full day of fun and we went to Hackers (an entertainment center in South Bend) and played arcade games, batting cages and even the driving range. I had never really swung a golf club in my life, but I really enjoyed the driving range. I think I could actually learn to love and play golf, haha. We will see. We also went bowling and rode the indoor go-karts at the bowling alley. Let me just say I came up from behind and passed Hicks on the curve (put his car in the wall) and finished 2nd behind Jared. :) YAY for me! Bowling.... well, I wasn't quite as lucky there. Hicks beat BOTH our butts in bowling.

Here are a few pictures from the past few weeks:

Sherry and I at our 10 year high school reunion. Go Wildcats!

Me and my sister Alicia in Wichita.
Jared and I at the bowling alley

WOW how 10 years flew right by me....

Well, folks.... I am off to my 10 year high school reunion in good ole El Dorado, KS this weekend.

I am super excited and also a little nervous. There are only a handful of people that I have REALLY kept in contact with over the years (I can thank Facebook for bringing me closer to others in my class), so I am a little nervous to see everyone else. I assume these feelings are pretty normal for anyone approaching their 10, 20 or 30 year high school reunion. I think if I had continued to live in El Dorado and kept in touch with everyone, it would be different. But I left El Dorado in 2001 and have never really looked back. My parents moved from there in 2006 and my sister has been gone for many years as well. Really, I have no reason to ever go back to that town. So, I almost feel like a complete visitor in the town I once called home. Pair that with the fact that high school wasn't really the BEST experience for me. You know those people who LIVE for high school and that was the best part of their lives? Well, that was not me. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't horrible at all. It just isn't something I look back on as the "best time in my life". I would say college was probably one of the best times for me so far. I loved college :)

I guess what I am trying to get at is that I feel like a completely different person than I was in high school. I look back at myself and it doesn't even seem like the same person. I have, and probably always will, struggle with confidence. But, I was really self conscious in high school, I cared a little too much what people thought about me and I strived to fit in with the "so called" popular crowd so much that I often got my feelings hurt. Now I look back and laugh at all this. I really don't care at all what anyone thinks of me anymore, I am more confident than I used to be and a popular crowd doesn't really exist in adulthood.

When I graduated I told myself I never wanted to see anyone again and I wanted to get away. Well, 10 years later, I am eager to see everyone again, catch up and just have fun with all my friends, acquaintances and even those people I didn't necessarily like 10 years ago. Forgive and forget right? Let's all have a blast, CLASS OF 1999!!!!

Here are some photos from my high school years:

On the road again....

travel, travel and more travel.....

Life is going to be pretty busy the next few weeks and into August.

Next week I am in Louisville, KY for the entire week for the Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America Mid-Year Conference. We are driving there since it is about 5-6 hours from us. It should be fun, I have never been to Louisville, but have heard it is a pretty neat place. Jared will be leaving to go back to Kansas the end of next week (at least, he is planning on it) to see some friends and family and go to the Kraft's wedding reception in Girard. I wish I could go with him, but I am heading the Wichita the next weekend (Aug. 7-10) for my high school reunion.

I have been looking forward and planning to go to the reunion for some time now. I am pretty excited to see everyone and even go back to El Dorado again (I really don't have a reason to go back there when I am back in Kansas). They have a lot of fun things planned: Friday is like a meet and greet at the Mexican restaurant downtown, Saturday they are giving tours of the new high school and Saturday night is dinner, drinks and dancing at the country club. Should be a lot of fun AND I get to see my best pal Sherry and her baby belly (YAY for Jackson Daugherty)!!!

I get back from Wichita and I am in South Bend for one day and then I turn around and fly out to Dallas for the Enforcing Underage Drinking Laws Conference. This conference will be a great time since we are actually taking coalition members with us this time. Plus, I love Dallas! :)

I get back from Dallas on August 15 just in time for Jared and I's 2 year wedding anniversary on the 16th. We have been together so long (8years) it is hard to believe we have only been married 2 years. But my how these 2 years have seen a lot of changes for us. Not sure what our plans are for that day, I will probably be exhausted, haha. We originally wanted to go up to Traverse City for a weekend, but not sure if the budget will allow for that anymore. Oh well, I am sure we will do something even if it is just dinner.

That is about it for travel at this time! That is alot and makes me tired thinking about it, but it will be a lot of fun.

Thoughts in my head right now

WARNING: I'm in a strange mood today and more or less just rambling through this blog. So if things don't make sense to you, I am sorry. But it sure make sense to me right now.

Have you ever felt like you need to cry? Have a nice, long and hard cry; but you aren't sure why? Almost like your body just needs a release of emotion from all the stress, excitement, anxiety, fear and other emotions you may be feeling. I have felt like that alot lately, but the tears have yet to flow. I have a feeling when they do, it will be a glorious thing.

I am sooooooo sick of being poor and not being able to have nice things. It is really starting to get to me. I am 28 years old and I live in an apartment with my husband and a roommate... no kids. Yes, I am throwing a pity party for myself. But damn it... it really bothers me sometimes, especially when I see my friends and other people my age that "appear" to have the life I want... house, family, successful career, etc.

For the first time in a long time I feel like I have no idea where my life is headed. Are we happy here? Sometimes. Am I happy in my career? Uh, sometimes. Life is so damn unpredictable and sometimes I like that, but not right now. I want to KNOW what is next for me. What is my next challenge? What is my next big accomplishment, if any? I want to be ready.... no more of this unpredictable stuff. I feel like I have lost control of my destiny and it is a lonely sad feeling.

Have you ever questioned EVERY decision you have ever made and thought, what if? I play the "what if" game all the time, and I know it doesn't do any good. What if I got a different degree in college? What if I didn't move to Indiana? What if I was more athletic in school, would I be overweight today? What if I tried out for American Idol, haha? What if? What if? There are lots of things I think about... life, career, friends, family, loved ones. I know I have to live the life I have been given and that I can't change the past, but I do think about it. Don't get me wrong, my life is not horrible at all! I just think about this stuff cause that is the way I am. But I know I need to just need to focus on the future and making it the best it can be!

I'm sure these feelings will pass... I am a moody girl anyway, so ask me in 2 hours and I will probably be fine, haha. Just needed to put some things out there and make sure I am not the only one who feels extremely inadequate and strangely sad at times.

All over the place

I know I know... I am a blogger slacker! Go ahead, throw your stones and spread your gossip. It is ok. I deserve it :)

Summer is here and fun times are upon us. Fireworks season is OVER so I actually get to spend some time with that one guy I live with, ya know, the one that I call husband. It is nice to have him back and be able to do more things together.

Here is a recap of our last few weeks.

July 4th

We had a cook out and fireworks show at the warehouse in Elkhart for all the workers and their families this year. It was a lot of fun and it was nice to be able to do this for them after all the long hours they worked this year.

At the 4th of July Cook out

My Birthday

I had a pretty good birthday this year; pretty laid back. We went to dinner at the Olive Garden (thanks mom and dad for the gift card) and then we were too stuffed to do anything else, so we just went home and vegged the rest of the evening. The next day, Saturday, we had a full day of fun! We woke up early and went to breakfast and then headed to the Pottawatomi Zoo in South Bend. For the size of South Bend, they have a pretty nice zoo. Jared and I went last year and decided to check out a few of the new exhibits. Then we went and saw Public Enemies at the theather, took a quick nap and then went over to a friend's house to watch the UFC fight. Jared loves that UFC crap... it is just ok for me. Not in love with it, but exciting at times.

Us at the zoo

Hopefully next weekend will be just as exciting!

Other than that, we are looking into renting out our house in Girard. It has been for sale for a year and a half now and it just makes us sick the money we pay every month towards that house. Plus, we are really ready for a place of our own and more room. Our apartment is sooooo cramped. It doesn't matter how much I clean or organize it still looks cramped. If we can rent out our house that will free up some money to be able to live on our own again. Fingers crossed!

That's about all folks, pretty lame! :)

Happenings in The Bend

Hope you are prepared for a full dose of randomness cause it is comin' folks!

CAR

First of all, I am happy to report that Lola, our 2006 Camry, is back up to her SHOWGIRL spirits. I took her into the dealership last week and they had a new part in her the next day. Now she unlocks and locks with perfection (which is a good thing living in this city). Bad news is we ended up dropping $240 on the '99 Camry for an oil change, new serpentine belt and the transmission flushed. :(

JADA

Well, my poor Jada Marie Birk will most likely end up having all her teeth pulled. She had two pulled in January when she went in for a cleaning. Now, 6 months later, her gums are all red again. They said some cats are just more prone to it... I think she is one of them. She is only 4, so I am so saddened to hear this news. But, she is a spunky, sweet and fun loving little cat so I think she will pull through well :) I just feel bad for her. (Sorry folks, but until I have a kid, you will have to hear stories about my baby Jada. My wanna-be-a-mom mentality goes into overdrive with her, haha).

JARED

is doing well, just working hard as usual this time of year. His hip seems to be ok, although I know we will spend some time looking for and talking to doctors and physical therapist after the season is over. We plan to have a 4th of July party at the warehouse with all the workers so we are excited about that and actually getting to shoot off some fireworks. Should be fun! After season I hope to get my husband back so we can go to some Silverhawks and Cubs games, hit the casino, do some karaoke and some traveling. We always make so many plans for after the season is over, so I am excited to get my husband back. :)

ME

I have just been working and sitting at home. Pretty lame actually. I haven't even been working my jewelry business. I still love it, just not real motivated right now I guess. It will come back soon I hope.

There are a lot of changes happening at my job right now that have me a little worried and preoccupied. My job is not is danger, but our organization is going through A LOT of changes. I just hope everything turns out ok.

I also joined an election campaign for sheriff. I am really excited about working on a political campaign, I have never done anything like this before. I don't even really know the guy, but several of my friends are supporting him and are serving on his committee and so I jumped on the bandwagon. We are currently planning a golf outing and I helped created a Facebook page for him. :) It should be fun!

Yes, our house is still for sale and I am TIRED of talking about it. There is a lady at work that asks me EVERYDAY (not an exaggeration) if we have sold it yet. NO LADY! STOP ASKING ME! Jared and I are about at our wits end with this house. We love it, why can't someone else fall in love with it and offer us a decent price for it. It is frustrating. If we don't have it sold by the end of the summer we are probably going to rent it out. We are so scared to do this, but at this point we have no choice. We are losing a considerable amount of money each month on this house and even if we could break even and make just enough for our mortgage would help us out. It is just scary and we would have to find someone we really trust to manage it for us. UGH! My blood pressure is rising just thinking about it!

That's about is for updates. :) I could go on and on... you all know I am a talker, but I will spare you just this one time. :)

Have a great week everyone!

Like mother, like daughter

Clumsiness is my middle name folks. I fall, trip and run into things all the time. You can read about some of my mishaps here.

Apparently my poor little Jada kitty has inherited (nature vs. nurture argument) her mother's gracefulness.

This morning she was sitting in the doorway of the bedroom watching me put on my jewelry and I asked her if she was hungry and ready for her food. She turns around really fast and slams the entire right side of her head into the door! I was laughing so hard I had to re-do my mascara, then I got a little worried about her... it was a pretty loud bang. She has done stuff like that before. One time she tried to jump up onto the bathroom vanity and she missed and slammed into the cabinet, haha. It is funny to watch, but I feel her pain. I just hope people don't laugh at me as much as I giggle at Jada.

Poor baby... let's hope she doesn't inherit anymore of her momma's bad traits. If she starts biting her nails I may get a little worried. :)

Poor poor Lola

my precious 2006 Camry already needs repairs

That's right folks. The slate grey, four door beauty that we just purchased CERTIFIED in February has to go to the doctor.

She's got some issue with not wanting to lock and unlock the doors correctly. At first, I thought it was that I didn't know how to operate the keyless entry (yes, this was my first car to have keyless entry....lame I know). After reading the 2 pages in the manual on the automatic locks I quickly figured out it isn't just my inexperience with car technology.

Here's the deal. When you push the unlock button 2 times on the keyless entry it is supposed to unlock all the doors, right? Well... sometimes it would unlock them all and other times it wouldn't. The strange thing is, it would always work first thing in the morning, but then not the rest of the day. But, it is more than just the keyless entry. Even when I would click the button to unlock all the doors on the driver's side, they wouldn't unlock. I had to reach into the back and manually flip the lock over like I had a flippin' 1985 model Camry. Super annoying!

Bad News: I will have to turn my car over to them to get it fixed.

Good News: We extended our warranty when we purchased it... so no out of pocket expense for us! :)

For now, say a little prayer for my precious Lola. Hopefully she will be back up to her "showgirl" spirits soon. :)

I am lame... sorry

My blogs have been lacking.

Not sure what my deal is. My digital camera is broken, so that hinders my blogging ability. Still trying to talk the husband into letting me get a new one (he doesn't understand my photo fetish!) :)

Really nothing new here folks. Northern Indiana is starting to warm up and I love it!!!! Been to the pool to layout a few times and still working on getting my winter coat off. I love spring and summer up here, the winters I am bitchy and just wanna move back to Kansas. But the summers, I love love love up here. Warm, but not too hot. Lakes GALORE and the St. Joe River right here in our backyard. Kinda nice. All I need is a boat and I will be super happy :)

Jared has been work, work, working like crazy. 7 days a week, 12 hour days. Poor guy. His hip is giving him more trouble, so we fear another surgery (possibly a hip replacement) is coming soon. They hoped to put it off a while, but I think he needs it now. He is in so much pain. I have been working with him a little on weekends to help out. It sucks, but it is money so I guess I will just have to deal with it for now. :)

So, that's about it folks. I really hope my next blog is more exciting :)

May 26 is a great day!

31 years ago today, my parents were married in Edmond, OK in a simple ceremony at the courthouse.

Their marriage is just as strong today as it was back then and they didn't need to spend their life savings to make it a wonderful wedding.

I look up to them for this. They did not always have it easy during the late 70s, early 80s when the economy was starting to plummet. I will always remember my mom telling me stories about the hardships they faced in Okmulgee, OK while my dad was in college.... eating bologna for weeks because it was all they could afford, car problems and having no money to do fun things. This hardship, in my opinion, is what cemented their marriage and made them who they are today. The never had a lot growing up, they endured the tough times together and taught my sister and I that you have to work for what you want... nothing comes easy.

I have such fond memories of my parents growing up. We had a lot of great times and I hope someday to provide the same memories for my children.

Thanks Mom and Dad and Happy Anniversary!!! I love you

May 26 is also a fabulous day because it is my best pal Jeremy's birthday and my girl Melanie's birthday! Happy birthday you two! Miss and love both of you very much!

So ready for this 3 day weekend

and I have plans.... YAY!

This will be my second Memorial Day to spend in South Bend and I am happy to say I have friends to spend it with this year. Friday (tomorrow) I get off work about 1 p.m. and I plan to (weather permitting) get some sun in sitting by the pool. Later I am meeting up with my friend Michelle for dinner and drinks and maybe even some dancing :)

Saturday I hope to relax most of the day (maybe more pool time) and then hit a BBQ at our friend Janet and Tim's house. Then I will boot scoot on over to the Elks Lodge to meet Sharon and Susan for some much needed karaoke! YAY!

Sunday and Monday I really don't have any plans as of right now. I know I will need to do things around the house and prepare for a jewelry show, but I hope to relax a little as well. I need to get over and see my girl Stacey and her little Genevieve in their new house too, so that will be on my list. :)

Needless to say, I am excited. When I first moved here I never imagined I would have enough friends to have a full weekend of fun. But look, here it is! I wish Jared could join me, but it is his busy time of year so he will be working, UGH!

Here's to a great Memorial Day weekend everyone!

I think this describes how I feel today

This is aMERican Idol!

Who did America choose to go home this week? Who will the top 2 be? Here is who I think (and hope) will be the top 2.

I don't care what anyone says about his guyliner or the fact that he is gay. The man can sing, and that is all that matters. ROCK ON ADAM!

Tagged by my gal Rocksee!

I figured since she tagged me, I better do my part :) So glad you are on Blogger now Rox; I've missed you.

Here are the rules, copied from her blog!
The Premio MEME Blog Award Rules:
1. list 7 personality traits about yourself.
2. tag/award 7 blogs that deserve such fine recognition for the personalities that they share with the blogging world.

1. I cannot wait to be a mom!

2. I am a constant worrier

Our beautiful little home in Kansas that has been for sale for a year and 3 months is a constant worry for me.

3. I am emotional. Sometimes, over emotional

4. Music and singing relaxes me and makes me happy

5. I miss and love my friends and family back home.

6. I love to be out and about, busy, and traveling

7. I love to blog and keep up with my pals online. (I stole this one from you Rox) :)

Alright... all you gals are tagged. :)

Tara at Our Princess in Pigtails

Sherry at Pitt-Stop

Marla at Whiskey Easy Wonderings

Misty at Burke Family Ties

Sarah at The Denny Daily

Julie at Smith Family Journals

Kyndra at Sophie and Aiden

The grips of addiction

it effects everyone

I saw it coming a month ago when a co-worker of mine, a recovering drug and alcohol abuser, started acting differently. He missed a few big events; started calling in sick more often. He had been in recovery for 4 1/2 years and, for all I could tell, was doing tremendously well. He was motivated to be successful, dedicated to his girlfriend and his little girl, and was, and still is, just a nice guy. I didn't know much about his recovery. He didn't talk about it too much. But, I did know.

He missed work again today and we soon found out that he had relapsed and had been on about a 5 day cocaine binge. I am saddened for him because I know how long and how much effort he put into his recovery and how all it takes is one time to change all that. Please pray for him and his recovery; it will be a long road.

EVERYONE deserves a chance to succeed, have a career, have a family and be happy and 4 1/2 years is a long time to be in recovery. He is smart and he is driven, two things you need to succeed in a career, so that is why he was hired. Plus, we work in drug and alcohol prevention and, in fact, one of our grants focuses on relapse prevention for those addicts re-entering society from jail or prison. So, this is a perfect project for someone like him who has first-hand experience with the struggles and grips of addiction. In fact, we have other men in recovery who were assisting him in developing this program because of their time sober, commitment to recovery, and first hand experience.

As much as I have sat in conferences, learning about addiction, I still don't get it. What caused him to relapse? Will he make it back on the wagon? It is absolutely impossible to draw a box and put all the characteristics of an "addict" in there. An addict is anyone and could so very easily be one of us! Addiction is not prejudice. Addiction is a disease and it must be treated in that way.

When someone relapses, or just for that matter uses drugs, people are so quick to say things like: Well, why can't THEY just stop? Why are they throwing THEIR lives away? The thing is, it is not about THEM, it is about the disease. We can't be mad at the person; we need to be mad at the addiction. The addiction causes them to miss work, to do irresponsible things, to steal, and to even kill. It is the devil's work and in this war, he is winning unfortunately. It drives me crazy when people are so quick to judge an addict, or recovering addict. The substance changes them, changes their brain chemistry and causes them to need more and more of the drug to feel "normal" again. I won't get into all the causes, effects and brain chemistry of addiction, that could take forever. But, I think you get the point.

We have more people addicted to mood altering substances in this world than I can even fathom. All of us are addicted to something.... caffeine, food, biting our fingernails, etc. Yet, there is not enough help and not enough compassion and understanding for those addicted to illegal substances and alcohol to get the help they need. Hell, insurance doesn't even pay for it, which really hacks me off! And, I don't care what anybody says, 90 days in treatment is rarely enough time for an addict to gain the skills to go back out into an intoxicated and high world and be a sober person. It just isn't.

Jared and I struggled with his own alcohol abuse (binge drinking) several years ago, so I have felt the pain, I have been so angry I wanted to hit him and I have blamed him. But, we made it through with help, support and understanding. Sometimes, it is still a battle, but we keep on pushing through.

So, I am sorry to get on my soap box, but I don't talk about work things like this very much (for good reason because I have very strong views about addiction and drugs). But, I just wanted to send out a prayer request for him and share my views on this horrible epidemic that, unfortunately, has affected so many people. I bet all of us can think of one person we know personally who is, or was, addicted to alcohol or drugs.

I've got the shopping bug

This whole "we need to save money" thing has really cut into my shopping adventures...

and it is time to change that!

Jared gave me "permission" to spend a little money this weekend on some new summer attire. Not that I really NEED permission, but you know its that whole marriage-respect-thing. :)

I am so excited that I don't even know where to begin. I really need some new capris and shorts for summer and maybe a few shirts/tank tops. I am pretty set on shoes, but a girl can never have to many, right? :) I also want some new summery body sprays and lotions for the summer and maybe a new purse. I know... its a lot. I will need to prioritize.

I plan to hit the good ole Old Navy, Maurices, Kohls, TJ Max, and Target first and then off to the mall if I don't find what I need at the "cheap" stores. I mean, come on... I am on a budget here, haha. I may decide to head over to Michigan City to the outlet mall too, who knows? They have Coach outlet there..... that makes me happy :)

Anyway, not much else going on except this week has been dreadful. Work has sucked, the weather has sucked and I have had cramps. BLAH! Today is the first day I didn't wake up cranky, so that helped.

Happy Thursday everyone!

It's going to be 80 degrees today!!!!!

I am so excited and I barely stand it!

Ah, I love spring and summer. You will very rarely hear me bitch and complain when it is hot in the summer. I love the warmth and the sun, there is just nothing like it. I don't like humidity, so you may hear me complain about that because my hair goes absolutely NUTS! :)

But, oh the warmth.... I can't wait.

Just a few things I love about spring and summer:
1. Staying up until 10 p.m. and the sun is still out and giving us a beautiful sunset (eastern time is awesome for the summer)
2. Coconut and Pineapple body sprays, lotions and tanning oils. I love that smell all year around, but for reason it feels wrong to use it when there is 2 feet of snow on the ground.
3. Flip flops... need I say more?
4. BBQs with friends
5. Blooming trees and flowers
6. Watermelon
7. Going to Lake Michigan
8. Millennium and Grant Parks in Chicago
9. Laying in the sun and taking dips in the pool to cool off
10. My birthday! :)

I could go on and on. What are your favorite things about spring and summer?

Sweet Tooth

and she's in trouble for it

Hicks brought home some homemade (at least he thought they were homemade) cinnamon rolls that his mom made when he was in KS. They were in a large Ziploc bag that he had placed on top of the counter in the kitchen. Now, let me just say, that Jada does not get on the counters when we are home. OOhhhh... noooo. She is sneaky. She waits until we are gone to explore the kitchen counters.

Well, She found the bag and Jared was the first one home to witness what she had done to the bag. She knocked it off the counter and tore into it. She had sticky icing all over her face and her neck.

She has done this before with something from the trash can and Jared had to put her under the shower to clean off. Well, this time was no different. I came home and she was sorta skittish and hiding and I didn't figure out why until I heard the story. :)

I think she has some extreme hatred towards Hicks because she KNOWS that he hates her. I told him if he would just act like he loves her maybe she wouldn't be so mean. I don't think he is buying it, haha

I love my baby kitty... but sometimes she likes to test my patience. Can't wait to have a child, haha.

Things I failed to mention on the last blog

Can't believe I forgot to talk about this...

A couple of things that annoy me about northern Indiana people (besides their accents):

1. When they hear you are from Kansas they say, "wow, really Dorothy? Isn't it really flat there? What is there to do there?" OH MY GOD! Ok, first of all my name is not Dorothy and second of all THE PLACE YOU LIVE IS FLAT TOO!! It is probably more flat in the South Bend/Mishawaka area than in southeast Kansas. So, get over it people. You aren't better, so get over it. When they find out that Wichita is about the size of the area we live, they acted shocked, like there can't possibly be any town in KANSAS that is big. They act like KC is small too, yeah right. It is sooo annoying and it will always drive me bonkers.

2. No one up here likes country music. Ok, I have met a few, but they aren't even from this area originally. Like I said... it must be the vicinity to Chicago, or the massive ghetto population we have here, I don't know. But, it is nearly impossible to find a good country music station up here. I have found one that I like, and most days I don't even like it very much.

Ok, I think I am done venting :)

Been a Hoosier for a year now

I can't believe it!

Well, an entire year has gone by since Jared and I loaded up everything we owned into a moving truck, said goodbye to our cozy little house in Girard and the SEK area we had called home for 8 years and headed north. It hardly seems possible that it has been this long because I still find myself telling people that I JUST moved here from Kansas. I guess because it still feels like I JUST moved here the other day.

I am adjusting well, but I still miss Kansas all the time. There is something to be said about the people of the heartland and southern hospitality. Up here, you really don't see it as much. A girl who is from southern Indiana once told me that northern Indiana and southern Indiana are like two different worlds... the people up here are different, maybe because of the vicinity to Chicago. I'm not saying everyone is rude and crude, but when you move from a town like Girard where everyone knows everyone and is super nice, to a city the size of Wichita with the attitude of Chicago... it is a lot different. I would think even if I moved to Kansas City or even Wichita I may experience a similar change.

With that said... there are a lot of things I like about living here. Being close to Chicago is pretty cool, and having Lake Michigan in our backyard is pretty neat too. We have met some great people up here though and made some good friends, which makes it a lot more fun.

I have learned a few things about myself in this last year of living up north:
1. I still hate snow, but after battling the worst winter northern Indiana has seen in YEARS, I can safely say that I survived and am pretty good at driving on that yucky stuff now.
2. I pick up accents REALLY EASILY! I really want my Oklahoma accent back , but it is long gone if I stay up here. It is hard to explain the accent unless you hear me, but it isn't Wisconsin with the long o's, it is more that the o's sound like a's and all the a's are kinda nasal. LOL! I hate it and I catch myself doing it all the time! ARGH!
3. Notre Dame is pretty cool, but when you live here you kinda get over it pretty quick.
4. Chicago is AWESOME!!!!
5. I don't take my job for granted anymore. It may suck, but since our area has the worst unemployment rate in the nation, I just suck it up and do my job and be thankful I have one.
6. I thoroughly enjoy a warm day and sunshine more than before.
7. I have met some of the best people in the area through Premier Designs Jewelry
8. Moving and enduring tough times strengthens and bonds a marriage. So many times Jared and I didn't think we were going to make it, that we made a mistake. It has helped us communicate better and put our faith in each other.
9. I can now ride/drive in a car for a long period of time :) I used to think I would never make long trips
10. Sometimes you have to take a chance in life, even if it is scary, to grow as a person. This experience was scary, and in a lot of ways it still is. But, I feel Jared and I have both grown and flourished through this.

So, here's to surviving a year as a Hoosier!!!!

Things that irritate me

Parents who let their children ride their bikes all around the city on the busiest roads!

Seriously!!!! Can you say... hit by a car? Cause I almost saw it happen today to 2 kids whipping in and out around cars without even paying attention. UGH!

Other things that irritate me.... well, there is probably not enough time to get into it. But thought I would toss that one your direction :)

Kansas bound

Not me... my hubby

Jared and Hicks left for Kansas this morning for the annual Jake's Fireworks shoot-off. I wanted desperately to join them, but I have very limited vacation/personal time at work and I know I want to travel a few places this summer. :( So, I am sad that I will not get to hang in P-burg this weekend, but that is ok. I have plenty to do here, that is for sure. What's on my list? Well, tonight I plan to have dinner and drinks with my friend Michelle. Saturday I plan to do some spring cleaning around the apartment, which will include cleaning Hicks' bathroom. Long story, but it involved a Texas Hold 'Em video game at the bar. Let's just say, I lost the bet. :)

After doing a day of cleaning, I may head up to the Elks Lodge for some karaoke, or may go hang with my girls Stace and Genna (that is, of course, assuming that the sickness plaguing their household is gone). And, Sunday... God intended it as a day of rest and that is what I intend to do.

In other randomness:
1. Jared told me last night that we don't kiss each other enough. It was so cute that he even thought about it, but he was right. So we are making more of a conscience effort to not only say we love each other, but to give hugs and kisses more often. :) I know.. corny... but this is our life and I love it!
2. We have lived in Indiana for nearly a year! Can you believe it, because I can't! A blog about this will come soon (possibly today... I feel like blogging today for some reason)
3. Our house is still for sale.... anyone wanna take Obama's house buyer plan and buy a beautiful home in Girard, KS?????
4. We were approved to consolidate a small amount of our debt, which is a relief to us. As I am sure many of you are experiencing, we had several credit card interest rates jump WAY up for no particular reason. How does one go from 7.9 fixed to 22.94 variable? It is insane to me! But, that is what the economy has given us and Jared and I are trying to tackle it one step at the time the best way we can.
5. I'm not real impressed with the new Flatts CD. I think every new one they come out with is not as good as the last. Maybe it will grow on me, but at first listen I am not real impressed. Sorry Rascals... I still love you though and I am listening to Me and My Gang right now :)
6. Anyone living in the Girard area needing a lawnmower let me know. We have one in the shed that Jared bought new before we moved, a self-propelled push mower. We also have a 91 Ford F150 for sale too. :) I think it needs a new alternator, but it is a good truck for the year.

Enough for now.... I may be back later for more :) Happy Friday everyone!

I just set up cell phone text blogging! Now i am convinced that i am addicted to the internet. :)

Remember that one blog

when I told everyone that I wasn't going to be chunky anymore.

Well, I failed. Miserably. I love food and I love to eat. It is a horrible, messy, greasy addiction that I have and I need professional help.

It is beginning to get slightly out of control and I must do something or else I will be 500 pounds before you know it. Ok, it's not 500 pounds worth of bad, but it is bad to me and not the way I wanna look.

Of course, Jared was able to drop like 20 pounds (exaggeration, but pretty darn close) in a week from just not eating as much. Must be nice!!! He tells me that I can lose weight that way too if I just cut back how much I am eating. Well, I see his point, but ME lose that much weight in week. YEAH RIGHT! What men don't understand is that women gain, pack on, and lose weight much differently than they do. Plus we have that hormone-changing little demon every month that sends our cravings into overload. I love you Jared, I just hate that you can think about losing weight and it just happens. :) UGH!

So, I am back on the weight loss bandwagon again with hopes of dropping some fat off my aging body. Like Rodney Carrington says "good thing I am married, cause I ain't got a chance in hell right now" :)

Any tips, recipes or words of encouragement are appreciated... especially since I am sitting here with a grumbling stomach right now. :(

I'm in a lovey mood

not sure if it was the fabulous wedding last weekend or what, but I am in a lovey dovey mood with my Jared.

Being married is wonderful, but it gets to a point where you start to get into a routine and life becomes so, normal, for lack of another word. Normal is not necessarily bad, it just isn't that spontaneous, romantic, butterflies in your stomach, love feeling you get when you are just beginning to date or when you are newlyweds. But, in a lot of ways, it is even better. Because I know, when I look at Jared that I am looking at my husband, the man I will spend my life with, have children with, grow old with, love and cherish forever. And that brings those spontaneous, romantic, butterflies in your stomach, love feelings right back!

Ok, enough mushyiness! :) Just sendin' a shout out to my man :) Love you darlin'

Great times with great friends

we are home from Myrtle Beach...

Oh we had such a great time down in South Carolina for Marla and Jeremy's wedding. We got in on Friday at about 5 o'clock after 16 hours of driving (we split it up over 2 days though). We then enjoyed a great dinner with everyone and had a great time at the piano bar. Saturday was the wedding and the weather was perfect, a little windy, but perfect. I have never seen Marla look so beautiful and she was absolutely glowing! I remember when I first met her she never thought she would ever get married and there she was... getting married to a wonderful guy. AS for Jeremy, he cleaned up real nice too, haha. The reception was at Hard Rock Cafe and we had a lot of fun dancing to the band and catching up with all our Burlington and Girard friends that we haven't seen in a long time. Hopefully we don't have to wait a really long time to see all of you again!

The day after the wedding we were supposed to head back home, but we decided to stay and extra day and enjoy ourselves. We swam in the pools, laid on the beach, and relaxed. It was well worth it.

Here are a few pictures. My digital camera broke while we were out there and I had to buy another one and it wasn't the best. Hopefully everyone will send pictures to me so I can have some good ones :)

From the lights of Vegas....

to the warm sandy beaches

Congrats Marla and Jeremy!!!! Can't wait to see you guys tomorrow!

Just 2 more days and we are off

Ah vacation... I can almost feel the sand under my toes

Work is crazy this week, but my one saving grace is that Thursday evening my handsome hubby and I are heading to the east coast for our bestest friends (Jeremy and Marla) wedding. I have been itching for some kind of vacation for a while and although it will be a short and cheap trip, it will be nice to get away and spend time with friends.

The only part that I cringe about is the 15 hour drive ahead of us. Why aren't we flying, you may ask? Well, the answer is easy. We could fly into Myrtle Beach, which would be outrageously expensive (probably about $400 for one person). Or we could fly into Charlotte or Charleston and rent a car and drive to Myrtle Beach (again... very expensive) or we could drive and spend about $150 on gas round-trip. So, we opted to drive. It will be a helluva long trip, but at least we have a new car to drive :)

So, wish us luck on our adventure! We will need it since we tend to fight like cats and dogs on long car trips, haha. :)

My middle name ain't Grace... that's for sure.

I have taken pride in the fact that I survived one of the worst winters in northern Indiana history this year with no car accidents and no slips on the snow and ice.

Well, the pride was quickly squandered this morning when I wiped out in front of our apartment on bare concrete... BARE CONCRETE! No ice, no snow, no rain... just concrete. The first thing I did was throw out a few cuss words and then look around to see if anyone saw me (naturally). I didn't see anyone.... (sigh) thank goodness. Of course, I get up and continue walking to my car like nothing happened and grimace with pain from my ankle and knee the entire time. I have too much pride to stand there and assess my battle wounds where everyone can see them. So, I waited until I got to the car. A small scrap on my ankle, little scratch on my hand from catching my fall and a little skin on my knee (and my khaki pants don't look too good either). It could have been worse.

I have quite a history of nasty falls, some involving the over consumption of alcohol. One of the funniest was with Amanda in Independence, KS. We were going to the courthouse to present to the County Commissioners. We walk outside of one building on our way to the Judicial Center and of course, I am not paying attention to my surroundings (a lesson my dad has been drilling into me since I was just a wee tot... apparently he knew he had a grace-challenged child on his hands). Anyway, I was looking at the sign on the door of the building and completely miss the 2 steps in front of it. When I say I wiped out... I mean WIPED OUT! Amanda, of course, would not stop laughing and I was trying to decide whether to cry or laugh too. UGH... that hurt.

The one that left me limping the longest was from Arrowhead Stadium for the Pitt State/Northwest Missouri Game. Jeremy and I headed up there to meet all our friends. NOTE: This is one that involved alcohol, but also a super tall man with long legs that likes to skip. Anyway, we were leaving the game in a huge crowd of people and Jer grabbed my hand and we started skipping/running through the crowd. I'm sure you know what happened next. My short legs could not keep up with his long legs and his overly happy skipping routine. I went down on my left ankle HARD. I mean... WOW! I had never sprained my ankle before, but when I went down I knew that is what had happened. Of course, there were hundreds of people around and I think some girl started laughing and I spouted off at her. Stupid *itch. :) Even Jer started laughing at me, until he realized I was about in tears and then he said "are you ok?". Uh, does it look like I am ok? He kept telling me that I was fine, but when I whipped my ankle out for him to see while we ate dinner at Hooters he changed his tune. It was black and blue and swollen... yuck. So, the next time Jer wanted to skip (which is often... he likes to skip for some reason) I had to have a little chat with him about slowing down and realizing not everyone has massively long legs like he has. The next skipping events were without incident. Thank you Jer :)

Oh man... I could go on for days about my nasty falls. But I will spare you all the details. :)

Have a wonderful, graceful, day!

Fun at the end of the day!

So, I'm stealing this a real funny blog called "Fake Interviews with Real Celebritys" http://fakeinterviewswithrealcelebrities.blogspot.com

It's a fun game.You put these three elements together to make a new Emo band's first album.

1 - Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random”or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to “Random quotations”or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days

Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together (I used Picnik)

Here's mine:

The madness begins tomorrow

does everyone have their brackets filled out and ready to go?

I picked OU... go figure! What is funny is that a guy I worked with picked OU too, so I definitely won't be lonely in my cheer section. He's a Domer and since Notre Dame didn't make the tourney, he decided to go for my team.

I even got several people at work to do a bracket challenge, so it will make the work days go by a little faster :)

In other news.... I worked a table for Premier Designs at the Women's Expo last weekend. It was great! I talked to a lot of wonderful women, sold a few items off my table and got ALOT of contacts to follow-up with. I am hopeful that I will be able to fill my calendar in the next few weeks. Prayers needed please :)

The new car is running great and it was fantastic to drive around in 75 degree weather yesterday with all the windows down. Ah... I love spring! I have been in such a fabulous mood because the weather is better. Funny how a simple thing like weather can change your attitude so much.

Now, let's get serious for a moment bloggers. There is something very important we need to talk about.... AMERICAN IDOL! I am going to make some predictions this year. I always say that I will make some early predictions, but never do. Well, this is the year my friends.

Drum roll please........... I predict that our top 2 will be: Adam and Allison.

Country week was rough this week, but it always is. I love country music, but I can't even tell you of a country performance in year's past that just blew me away. So, even though Adam had a rough time (You don't mess with Johnny Cash buddy) and Allison did alright (love the raspy sound to her voice), I really think they have the best stage presence (with the exception of Lil, she rocks too). Adam's ability to "make a song his own" reminds me of Chris Daughtry and David Cook. I think we desperately need an Allison to win, or at least be a top 2 finalist. We really haven't had a cool rock chick and I would love to see that! Alexis has it too, but I think Allison's stage presence and her tone is better. And, let's not discount Danny and Kris. I think they are both really great singers and, if you would have asked me a few weeks ago I would have picked Danny as a top 2. But, I worry about his consistency. We will see.... you never know with American Idol! :)

What do you all think? What are your predictions? Let's chat!

I've been a bad bad blogger

ARGH... I hate it when I slack on blogging. I just haven't had anything interesting to say lately, I guess. I still don't, but for the sake of blogging here's some randomness for your Tuesday reading.

1. Hicks bet me that I won't be able to keep my new car clean. (I have a habit of drinking water bottles and tossing them in the backseat). I told him it will look the same in 3 months as it does now. We will see... I am trying real hard. :) Hicks may be a bettin' man, but this is one he is going to lose.
2. Jared's hair is outta control and I am convinced he does it just to get under my skin. :) Jared's hair is curly, a coarse curly that grows out instead of down. He likes to get out of the shower and run his fingers through it and puff it all up like an afro. He is so weird. He thinks it looks "sexy". I say otherwise. At least he plans to shave it all before the Kraft wedding.
3. I miss my sister like crazy. She has a new boyfriend and life is turning around for her and I am so happy for her. I just want her to come visit me. :(
4. I have a table for Premier at the Expo for Women this weekend and I am really excited and hopeful for new contacts and bookings.
5. My first friend I ever made when we moved to South Bend moved to Milwaukee last weekend. We didn't get to hang out a lot before she left because we were both so incredibly busy. I wish her the best and I hope to make a trip up there this summer sometime.
6. I got my hair cut last week. Tanita said I needed to do something dramatic. Well, it isn't dramatic, but she did cut a lot off and gave me more layers and long sweepy bangs. She says she will get me out of my box at some point.... we will see. I have had pretty much the same hairstyle since high school except I have changed it with layers and long bangs, but it has always been about the same length.
7. I am SO EXCITED for my friend Sherry! Her and her husband Chris are expecting their first child in September. I am almost certain it is a boy, haha. I have known Sherry since 4th grade and we used to always talk about how scared we were to have kids and we didn't think we could handle it. Well, here we are and one of us is expecting a baby. We are all grown up Sherry! I can't wait to see your lil' guy and I am so glad our friendship is still just as strong as ever. I love ya honey.
8. Our lil' house in Girard has been getting more action! YES! They have been showing it a lot more lately and I am hopeful that someone will fall in love with it like we did. *Fingers crossed, prayers being sent up*
9. My cat is getting fat. Seriously... ever since she had her teeth fixed she has been eating like a pig. Anytime I go to the kitchen she runs over to her bowel and bag of food and whines like a lil' baby. Then, last night I was working on a display board for Premier and she kept jolting through the house and running all over my board and then laying down next to me and trying to bite me. ARGH... I told Jared yesterday that if she was our child she would be in time-out right now.
10. It is becoming Spring northern Indiana and I have never been so happy! I will never ever ever take Spring and Summer for granted AGAIN after this brutal winter I have endured. The ducks are quacking, the rabbits are hopping and my flower bush that Jared bought me last year survived the winter and has buds growing on it already. Ah spring.... hurry hurry. We need you!

Come on spring!

I've got spring fever real bad

This morning I stared into my closet and wanted so desperately to put on some cute gaucho pants, spring-y top and flip flops. But Mother Nature shut down that dream rather quickly with a 12 degree morning. YUCK. I am certain my feet will need a major overhaul before spring. I don't think I have seem my little piggies much this winter, except in the shower and even then they are covered with water because our drain is slow. I haven't even painted them since probably October... gross. :)

Anyway, the Birk Family is anxiously awaiting spring and much of the residents of northern Indiana are as well. Apparently, this winter was really bad, according to the locals. So, I guess Jared and I got introduced to the worst of it, hopefully next year will be better.

Other than that, things have been pretty calm. Our budget is working out tremendously well and I think we will be able to pay Uncle Sam soon! That will be a huge sigh of relief for us. We are still hopeful that we will be able to make it to S.C. for Jeremy and Marla's wedding too, but it is too early for us to say yet... even though it is a month away! (I know... we are total procrastinators).

I watched my friend's little girl Sunday for a little bit while they were moving and I have to say, I did pretty well. We played and watched her favorite movie "Horton Hears a Who" and then I smelled it. Yep, it did no good for me to say "please don't poop while I am watching you" because she did it anyway. Like I have said before, I am baby retarded. I have changed one diaper my whole life and now, I have changed 2. And seriously, how does it get all over them? Really? I bet I used a whole box of wipes trying to clean her up while she bounced her legs all around and laughed. I bet she thought I was quite a sight to see. Surprisingly, the smell and the "contents" didn't bother me too much (which is good). I struggled with everything else, haha. That little bundle of joy was bouncing around so much I could barely get her new diaper on and by the time I did she was crying. Well, at least I got it on! Then I worked as fast as I could to get her pants and shoes on (she loves shoes and she screams if you don't put them on her).

Then she was hungry, so I fed her some peas, crackers and few cookies that her momma had set out for me. She was giggling and had it all over, but it was fun. Thanks Genevieve for teaching this "rookie" how to do it. :)