The grips of addiction

it effects everyone

I saw it coming a month ago when a co-worker of mine, a recovering drug and alcohol abuser, started acting differently. He missed a few big events; started calling in sick more often. He had been in recovery for 4 1/2 years and, for all I could tell, was doing tremendously well. He was motivated to be successful, dedicated to his girlfriend and his little girl, and was, and still is, just a nice guy. I didn't know much about his recovery. He didn't talk about it too much. But, I did know.

He missed work again today and we soon found out that he had relapsed and had been on about a 5 day cocaine binge. I am saddened for him because I know how long and how much effort he put into his recovery and how all it takes is one time to change all that. Please pray for him and his recovery; it will be a long road.

EVERYONE deserves a chance to succeed, have a career, have a family and be happy and 4 1/2 years is a long time to be in recovery. He is smart and he is driven, two things you need to succeed in a career, so that is why he was hired. Plus, we work in drug and alcohol prevention and, in fact, one of our grants focuses on relapse prevention for those addicts re-entering society from jail or prison. So, this is a perfect project for someone like him who has first-hand experience with the struggles and grips of addiction. In fact, we have other men in recovery who were assisting him in developing this program because of their time sober, commitment to recovery, and first hand experience.

As much as I have sat in conferences, learning about addiction, I still don't get it. What caused him to relapse? Will he make it back on the wagon? It is absolutely impossible to draw a box and put all the characteristics of an "addict" in there. An addict is anyone and could so very easily be one of us! Addiction is not prejudice. Addiction is a disease and it must be treated in that way.

When someone relapses, or just for that matter uses drugs, people are so quick to say things like: Well, why can't THEY just stop? Why are they throwing THEIR lives away? The thing is, it is not about THEM, it is about the disease. We can't be mad at the person; we need to be mad at the addiction. The addiction causes them to miss work, to do irresponsible things, to steal, and to even kill. It is the devil's work and in this war, he is winning unfortunately. It drives me crazy when people are so quick to judge an addict, or recovering addict. The substance changes them, changes their brain chemistry and causes them to need more and more of the drug to feel "normal" again. I won't get into all the causes, effects and brain chemistry of addiction, that could take forever. But, I think you get the point.

We have more people addicted to mood altering substances in this world than I can even fathom. All of us are addicted to something.... caffeine, food, biting our fingernails, etc. Yet, there is not enough help and not enough compassion and understanding for those addicted to illegal substances and alcohol to get the help they need. Hell, insurance doesn't even pay for it, which really hacks me off! And, I don't care what anybody says, 90 days in treatment is rarely enough time for an addict to gain the skills to go back out into an intoxicated and high world and be a sober person. It just isn't.

Jared and I struggled with his own alcohol abuse (binge drinking) several years ago, so I have felt the pain, I have been so angry I wanted to hit him and I have blamed him. But, we made it through with help, support and understanding. Sometimes, it is still a battle, but we keep on pushing through.

So, I am sorry to get on my soap box, but I don't talk about work things like this very much (for good reason because I have very strong views about addiction and drugs). But, I just wanted to send out a prayer request for him and share my views on this horrible epidemic that, unfortunately, has affected so many people. I bet all of us can think of one person we know personally who is, or was, addicted to alcohol or drugs.