Gotta have faith, faith faith-a, I gotta have faith, faith, faith-a

Baby!!!

George Michael said it best that you gotta have faith. His "faith" referred to having faith in love and relationships. My blog about faith today is about believing in a higher power, God.

Ok, bear with me bloggie friends, I have a lot to say and have realized some things this week and I just wanna share it with everyone.

I am a Christian. Am I what you would call a "practicing" Christian that attends church and prays all the time? No. But I do believe in Him, I just don't have the Bible memorized and, really, don't even know THAT much about it besides Noah's Ark, the 10 Commandments, Moses and the creation Earth and human life. And, even those I don't feel I can talk intelligently about.

I feel almost awkward in church and even more awkward when I pray. Sometimes I'll just try to be casual and be like "hey God, what's up?" Not sure if that's appropriate, but that's what I do when I am compelled to pray. :) Which I am sorry to say, that in my life I haven't always ask God for help. I am a control freak, no need to deny that little fact. I like to be in control of my own life, of my own choices and of my own destiny. I have never really asked God to help me.

So far my life has gone pretty well for me based on this "I have to be in control" mentality. Until recently I hadn't really noticed how much this Faith was missing in my life and maybe how much I needed it. Ever since we moved I have felt like something is missing. I mostly think it is that I want a child so that is the piece that is missing. However, I feel that it is more than that. I came to work here at Healthy Communities and our administrative assistant is a cool girl with an even cooler love and faith in God. Just watching her, hearing her stories and seeing the amount of pure "faith" she puts in God to show her the way was astounding to me, especially the control freak that I am. On rough days in the office she's just say with a laugh and a smile, "time to pray at work girl... it's gonna be a long day and we will need it."

As I started looking into this jewelry business something kept telling me it was what I was supposed to do. It took me a little while before I found out that the entire company is based on Biblical principles and abides by Christian standards. This scared me a little because of my lack of knowledge in the Christian world (if you will) and I didn't want to be put on the spot and asked to recite scripture (I doubt that happens, haha, but I always have that fear that I will be asked about something and I won't know and everyone will laugh at me).

So, something inside me was telling me that starting this business was the RIGHT thing to do, despite some of my worries and concerns. Last night I attended my first regional training event and I am for certain, 110% that God has brought me to this adventure (as cheesy as that sounds). I walked in and was greeted by about a dozen women with hugs, hand shakes and smiles. For the FIRST TIME since I moved to Indiana I felt like I BELONGED somewhere and had a family. In fact, when Kristy, the coordinator, gave me a hug that first time she met me it almost brought tears to my eyes (which isn't hard to do because I am so sensitive anyway). I just felt so warm, so at home and I felt myself give up some of that control and just say, "Ok, you have shown me this and I am giving you the wheel. Take me where I need to go." This is a HUGE step for me. While I won't be singing in the church choir and organizing youth groups just yet (not even sure if I will join a church right now), at least I NOW have a deeper realization of Christ and have just let show me the way.

Jesus take the wheel. I am ready.